An uncomfortable encounter

[Aractus]

Wow what the fuck? Busking is certainly not illegal and in Aust. solo performers don't require a permit and I really doubt it's different in the US. Professional buskers add value to a venue.

A old friend of mine used to do it full-time. Typical struggling musician, and he would sell his CDs for $20 each. He used to take his keyboard and set up with a table that had a handful of his CDs on it for sale with the price displayed, hard working 8hrs a day 5 days a week just like any other self-employed entrepreneur. Anyway he was quite successful doing that.

[TonyAnkle]

On a totally unrelated and off topic subject, I just found out that the new place we're moving into will most likely be impossible to have any kind of garden, even of the container variety like I had last year. Maybe a potted mum or two.

Last year's garden really sustained me, it was the best I've felt in years. I've been looking forward to expanding it all winter. Making plans. All of my Christmas gifts were garden related. Now all garbage. Well, stuff em in storage anyway.

I cannot even express how depressed I am right now. That stupid garden was holding me together.

Gardening is very therapeutic. We have allotments over here for people with no garden space, most people use them to grow veg... Is there anything like that where you are? Might be worth investigating.

[pocaracas]

My normal routine now is to do the grocery shopping twice a month.  However, once in a while, we run out of something that means I need to make a smaller step out.

I rely too much on fresh veggies.... need to go to the store more than once a week

press the button to indicate that I need $20 in cash,

You guys have a special button for that?
Here in the UK, you can just ask the cashier for some cashback.
Or go to an ATM... Or just use the card with contactless in this world of easily transmissible diseases.

While she's getting out some 5's and 1's, I stupidly mention that I want to give the guy outside a few bucks.  Holy shit, that's a mistake.  Suddenly she won't give me my money.

Hehe... $1 notes... the smallest we have are £5 (in the euro zone 5€).... below that, it's coins. I find this is easier to mentally separate small value from large value.

She hold it away from me and starts in about how what he's doing is illegal and I can't give him any money.

If what he's doing is illegal, then why doesn't the store call the police? Aren't the police the ones who should do something?

  The lady waiting to be helped gives me a sort of alarmed look, which I'm sure I returned twofold.  She says "Ma'am, he's earning it, he's playing a guitar". 

Will he pay taxes over the earnings?

Not that that matters to me, there are a lot of homeless where I live right now, they don't need to be "deserving" to get help. however, I do appreciate the back-up from this stranger.  But anyway, the clerk still won't give me my money.  She says, "you can't, he'll just buy drugs with it".
"My money, my choice" I tell her and extend my arm for the cash.  She's still babbling on about how panhandling is illegal, so I repeat that it's my money, my choice.  Privately also thinking, once I give it to him, his money, his choice.  In any case, she finally hands over the money, and I high tail it out of there.  I gave him 10, partly just to spite that heartless nutjob inside.  The lady who was backing me up comes out and I note she also drops some cash into his case.  Good.

I feel like this is just a touch over the top, and will be avoiding not just her lane in the future, but that entire store.  I'm glad we are moving to the south end of town next month.

The Moral?
I should have gone through self check-out, 

Homelessness is a problem of these places where housing costs escalate faster than incomes.
Giving the homeless a bit of cash like you did may help them out on the short term, but it doesn't solve the problem.
I recently heard of this study "they" made in Canada about this, where the government handed out $7500 to a few homeless persons (each getting $7500): https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/21528...af-project

[...]
identified 50 people in the Vancouver area who had become homeless in the past two years. In spring 2018, it gave them each one lump sum of $7,500 (in Canadian dollars). And it told them to do whatever they wanted with the cash.
[...]
The results? The people who received cash transfers moved into stable housing faster and saved enough money to maintain financial security over the year of follow-up. They decreased spending on drugs, tobacco, and alcohol by 39 percent on average, and increased spending on food, clothes, and rent, according to self-reports.

“Counter to really harmful stereotypes, we saw that people made wise financial choices,” Claire Williams, the CEO of Foundations for Social Change, told me.

The study, though small, offers a counter to the myths that people who become poor get that way because they’re bad at rational decision-making and self-control, and are thus intrinsically to blame for their situation, and that people getting free money will blow it on frivolous things or addictive substances. Studies have consistently shown that cash transfers don’t increase the consumption of “temptation goods”; they either decrease it or have no effect on it.

[...]
Enabling 50 people to move into housing faster saved the shelter system $8,100 per person over the year, for a total savings of $405,000. That’s more than the value of the cash transfers, which means the transfers pay for themselves.

[Phaedrus]

Most social encounters make me uncomfortable.

Like, this is your thread. Do I have a right to share my own experience or am I supposed to just be empathetic to yours?

Social interactions are confusing, and freaking exhausting.

When I interact with people too much, I get into my head too much. I begin to think everyone around me is against me and has it out for me.

It's why I prefer to remain sane by being a loner.

[Aroura]

Most social encounters make me uncomfortable.

Like, this is your thread. Do I have a right to share my own experience or am I supposed to just be empathetic to yours?

Social interactions are confusing, and freaking exhausting.

When I interact with people too much, I get into my head too much. I begin to think everyone around me is against me and has it out for me.

It's why I prefer to remain sane by being a loner.

Please do share your own experiences! It's not just my thread.

[Aroura]

On a totally unrelated and off topic subject, I just found out that the new place we're moving into will most likely be impossible to have any kind of garden, even of the container variety like I had last year. Maybe a potted mum or two.

Last year's garden really sustained me, it was the best I've felt in years. I've been looking forward to expanding it all winter. Making plans. All of my Christmas gifts were garden related. Now all garbage. Well, stuff em in storage anyway.

I cannot even express how depressed I am right now. That stupid garden was holding me together.

Gardening is very therapeutic. We have allotments over here for people with no garden space, most people use them to grow veg... Is there anything like that where you are? Might be worth investigating.  

In America? An allotment of land for every person to garden on? Hahahahahaha.
No. Too "socialist" probably.

When we lived in Germany we saw those, they're beautiful little patches in the city with sheds and gardens everywhere. I sincerely wish we did anything like that.

I'm thinking I might be able to get some peas and carrots in a few boxes, those tolerate a little shade alright. Maybe potatoes too. The problem is that we're at a high elevation in there north, so already have an insanely short growing season. Shade just makes it longer, not likely to get much out of any veg.

I might just have to settle on a handful of climbing sweet pea and some marigolds. I'm not sure there's enough sun for much else. No summer garden at all. Sigh

[Aroura]

I rely too much on fresh veggies.... need to go to the store more than once a week

I buy mostly local produce.  I won't say only because I do pick up an occasional avocado or bunch of bananas at a supermarket, and I have a very small stock of canned in case of emergency, but there are a lot of fresh fruits and veg that last two weeks easily, either in a cool pantry or in a crisper drawer.  Particularly in winter months, we eat beets, cabbage, carrots, potatoes, turnip, onion, leeks and squash. All of these will last weeks, months even, in the right conditions.  Broccoli and cauliflower do not last so long, so when I buy these we just eat them first, and save the other stuff for later. Same with any salad greens.  For fruits in the winter, there are really only apples, pears and citrus in the winter anyway, aside from stuff I froze or dried in the summer, and those also last a good long time if kept cool.  I bought 10lbs of apples in November at a local "stock your pantry event", and we easily ate all of those before they started to wrinkle or go soft.

In spring and summer it's harder, because there is a larger selection of things that spoil quickly, so I really had to plan carefully and not buy too much of the items that would spoil, and to make sure we focused one those items first.  Mostly fruit, and I discovered freezing to be a great solution. We still have 2 pints of strawberries, 1 pint blackberry, and half of a blueberry left that I froze myself.
 But it was still totally doable. Again, we just put the cabbages and the beets in week two (these are always available where I live), while all the asparagus and beans and stuff were eaten week one.

Homelessness is a problem of these places where housing costs escalate faster than incomes.
Giving the homeless a bit of cash like you did may help them out on the short term, but it doesn't solve the problem.
I recently heard of this study "they" made in Canada about this, where the government handed out $7500 to a few homeless persons (each getting $7500): https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/21528...af-project

[...]
identified 50 people in the Vancouver area who had become homeless in the past two years. In spring 2018, it gave them each one lump sum of $7,500 (in Canadian dollars). And it told them to do whatever they wanted with the cash.
[...]
The results? The people who received cash transfers moved into stable housing faster and saved enough money to maintain financial security over the year of follow-up. They decreased spending on drugs, tobacco, and alcohol by 39 percent on average, and increased spending on food, clothes, and rent, according to self-reports.

“Counter to really harmful stereotypes, we saw that people made wise financial choices,” Claire Williams, the CEO of Foundations for Social Change, told me.

The study, though small, offers a counter to the myths that people who become poor get that way because they’re bad at rational decision-making and self-control, and are thus intrinsically to blame for their situation, and that people getting free money will blow it on frivolous things or addictive substances. Studies have consistently shown that cash transfers don’t increase the consumption of “temptation goods”; they either decrease it or have no effect on it.

[...]
Enabling 50 people to move into housing faster saved the shelter system $8,100 per person over the year, for a total savings of $405,000. That’s more than the value of the cash transfers, which means the transfers pay for themselves.

I completely agree, giving the guy some cash won't fix a damn thing, maybe get him a meal or two at best.  But I can't give him $7,500, so I do what I can.  
I wish more people understood that poor only means having no money, it doesn't mean lazy or stupid or unworthy.  
In America in particular, we still stigmatize the poor.  I don't know how social attitudes about this are in Portugal. I'd like to hear about it, though.
But here, the poor are often labeled, as the clerk did, as drug addicts, or lazy drifters who just need to man/woman up and get a job. In addition, people often think they are just grifters looking to live off the "government tit", and often have ideas that poor people here are relatively well off (compared to other places), which belittles their plight. 

And this doesn't even address how hard it is to get help in America, form official sources.  Along with unregulated housing prices, (If you missed my later post, I saw a studio apartment in my town open for $895 a month recently) and often terrible minimum wages, wage theft, tipping policies, etc. we have a situation of a rapidly growing homeless population, average people unwilling to vote in changes that would help them, and completely inadequate government aid.

(I just did the math.  The min wage where I live is $11.25 (shockingly almost $4 above the federal min wage!!), which is roughly $1800 IF you work full time (and underemployment is also extremely common, companies working people 30-35 hours to avoid full time benefits), after taxes that is roughly $1350.  Minus the $895 is just $455.  Assuming a young single person, with that $455, you need to have a car (even used you are probably looking at $150 a month), pay for gas, buy food, clothing, furniture for your shitty little studio, etc. Need to buy your ACA health care plan?  Well, now you can't afford groceries.

In any case, the majority of minimum wage workers do not work 40 hours, but something closer to 30, so they often need a second job just in order to afford rent.  Lose one job, and even if you have a job, you suddenly can't pay rent.  It's a very fast next step to homelessness.

[Aliza]

On a totally unrelated and off topic subject, I just found out that the new place we're moving into will most likely be impossible to have any kind of garden, even of the container variety like I had last year. Maybe a potted mum or two.

Last year's garden really sustained me, it was the best I've felt in years. I've been looking forward to expanding it all winter. Making plans. All of my Christmas gifts were garden related. Now all garbage. Well, stuff em in storage anyway.

I cannot even express how depressed I am right now. That stupid garden was holding me together.

Gardening is very therapeutic. We have allotments over here for people with no garden space, most people use them to grow veg... Is there anything like that where you are? Might be worth investigating.  

In America? An allotment of land for every person to garden on? Hahahahahaha.
No. Too "socialist" probably.

Yeah, people in the city and suburbs don't garden for food. The Home Owners Associations (HOA) of a given neighborhood may even have strict rules about what can and cannot be planted (even in your private backyard!).

[SYZ]

Wow what the fuck? Busking is certainly not illegal and in Aust. solo performers don't require a permit and I really doubt it's different in the US. Professional buskers add value to a venue...

City of Melbourne requires a paid permit in order to busk.

•  For all general area, pavement art and circle act permits, application fees are (A$):

   $30 for new permits (valid for 12 months),
   $25 for short-term permits for interstate or international applicants (valid for 3 months),
   $30 for permit re-applications (valid for 12 months).

•  For premium permits, fees are:

   $70 for new permits and permit re-applications (valid for 12 months),
   $50 for short-term permits for interstate or international applicants (valid for 3 months),
   Premium permit fee includes new general area valid for 12 months.

•  Selling fees:

   An additional selling fee of $100 will apply for those wishing to sell CDs, DVDs or original artworks produced while busking.
   If you are busking as a member of a group and group members are selling the same CD or DVD, only one selling fee is applicable.
   All group members must have their own individual busking permit, but do not need to pay separate selling fees.

In the City of Sydney, busking permits are available for 3 months (quarterly) or for 12 months (yearly).
The 3 month permit is $13. The 12 month permit is $47.

Fines for busking without a licence or breaking the rules apply, including on-the-spot fines of $3,000
in Melbourne and $2,200 in Sydney.

[SYZ]

...In any case, the majority of minimum wage workers do not work 40 hours, but something closer to 30, so they often need a second job just in order to afford rent.  Lose one job, and even if you have a job, you suddenly can't pay rent.  It's a very fast next step to homelessness.

Yep... similar scenario here in Australia for casual, minimum-wage employees, who can
be forced to work only a maximum of three 5-hour shifts per week.  And only 15 hours
per week cuts out any social security payment.  That 15 hours brings in around A$285
per week before tax, and like the US, a single-bedroom apartment in my capital city can
cost around A$250 to A$350 per week.  Which obviously ain't gonna work out!

So, again like the US, the part-timers or casuals have to take on a 2nd or even 3rd job
just to make ends meet.  And having to do those sorts of split shifts can wreak havoc
on peoples' sleeping, studying, and social habits big time.

And according to the Federal government's employment agency, if you're working only one
hour per week, statistically the Australian Bureau of Statistics says you're fully "employed".

These are 2018 Australian employment figures:



The current underemployment  rate (for casuals and part-times mainly) is around 9% of
the working population of around 12.8 million.

—I usually give $5 to street people whenever I pass them.  I hold the note out clearly in
front of me as I approach them, as I've been initially treated with suspicion without doing
that—which is, I'm guessing, from to too many uptight wankers berating them from their
moral high horses.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Wow what the fuck? Busking is certainly not illegal and in Aust. solo performers don't require a permit and I really doubt it's different in the US. Professional buskers add value to a venue.

A old friend of mine used to do it full-time. Typical struggling musician, and he would sell his CDs for $20 each. He used to take his keyboard and set up with a table that had a handful of his CDs on it for sale with the price displayed, hard working 8hrs a day 5 days a week just like any other self-employed entrepreneur. Anyway he was quite successful doing that.

Property owners have the right to determine who does and doesn't use their property for various purposes.

As a musician, I agree that a place which doesn't allow busking is pretty messed-up; but they're within their rights to do so.

Busking is not illegal here, so long as the property-owner approves it. I don't know if permits are required for busking on public property; I never applied for one, nor did I ever get hassled by the police.

[TheGentlemanBastard]

Gardening is very therapeutic. We have allotments over here for people with no garden space, most people use them to grow veg... Is there anything like that where you are? Might be worth investigating.  

In America? An allotment of land for every person to garden on? Hahahahahaha.
No. Too "socialist" probably.

Yeah, people in the city and suburbs don't garden for food. The Home Owners Associations (HOA) of a given neighborhood may even have strict rules about what can and cannot be planted (even in your private backyard!).

Many HOA rules are written by busybodies with too much time on their hands and not enough concern for local, or even state or federal, regulation making many of their rules unenforceable.

[Aroura]

Gardening is very therapeutic. We have allotments over here for people with no garden space, most people use them to grow veg... Is there anything like that where you are? Might be worth investigating.  

In America? An allotment of land for every person to garden on? Hahahahahaha.
No. Too "socialist" probably.

Yeah, people in the city and suburbs don't garden for food. The Home Owners Associations (HOA) of a given neighborhood may even have strict rules about what can and cannot be planted (even in your private backyard!).

Well, we are going to ask our new landlord if we can build a small fenced area on the property.  Enough to put 8 or 10 pots in there, protected from the deer. Hopefully too crowded for them to jump in.  There's one pretty large spot with no trees.  Then I can get some tomatoes, squash and cucumbers, maybe an eggplant in there. We'll try and find some old lumber to repurpose, and otherwise just use chicken wire. All the spring and fall stuff, the peas and potatoes and carrots and beets, plus the herbs of course, I think will be ok getting shaded in the hot afternoons anyway, so should be fine on the back deck.  Still need to add fencing back there, too.  I got really discouraged yesterday, but maybe I can still make this work.

I do hate HOA's.  they rarely provide anything useful.  One place we lived a while back wouldn't allow AC units in windows. That's pretty typical, but it gets over 100 there i nthe summer.  Why do they even care?

I also think more and more urban people want to garden.  There was a boom of urban gardening last year because of Covid.  I hope it sticks around (The gardening, not the Covid), it's a good way to use a yard, much better than grass.

Where we live now  I have a nice big back patio and gravel yard that's south facing and perfect for pots.  I had so much stuff out there last year in pots!  and I had some failures (cabbages, cough, cough), but more successes.




I successfully grew everything from Romanesco to carrots, and even tomatoes and pattypan squash (Which was my favorite plant of the year).  Probably a dozen different things in all, not counting the flowers and herbs.  I also discovered that squash blossoms are absolutely my favorite garden food!  We ate soooo many of the male blossoms.





Sorry, this is really off topic.  I just had to share how successful city gardening can be!

[Aliza]

In America? An allotment of land for every person to garden on? Hahahahahaha.
No. Too "socialist" probably.

Yeah, people in the city and suburbs don't garden for food. The Home Owners Associations (HOA) of a given neighborhood may even have strict rules about what can and cannot be planted (even in your private backyard!).

Well, we are going to ask our new landlord if we can build a small fenced area on the property.  Enough to put 8 or 10 pots in there, protected from the deer. Hopefully too crowded for them to jump in.  There's one pretty large spot with no trees.  Then I can get some tomatoes, squash and cucumbers, maybe an eggplant in there. We'll try and find some old lumber to repurpose, and otherwise just use chicken wire. All the spring and fall stuff, the peas and potatoes and carrots and beets, plus the herbs of course, I think will be ok getting shaded in the hot afternoons anyway, so should be fine on the back deck.  Still need to add fencing back there, too.  I got really discouraged yesterday, but maybe I can still make this work.

I do hate HOA's.  they rarely provide anything useful.  One place we lived a while back wouldn't allow AC units in windows. That's pretty typical, but it gets over 100 there i nthe summer.  Why do they even care?

I also think more and more urban people want to garden.  There was a boom of urban gardening last year because of Covid.  I hope it sticks around (The gardening, not the Covid), it's a good way to use a yard, much better than grass.

Where we live now  I have a nice big back patio and gravel yard that's south facing and perfect for pots.  I had so much stuff out there last year in pots!  and I had some failures (cabbages, cough, cough), but more successes.




I successfully grew everything from Romanesco to carrots, and even tomatoes and pattypan squash (Which was my favorite plant of the year).  Probably a dozen different things in all, not counting the flowers and herbs.  I also discovered that squash blossoms are absolutely my favorite garden food!  We ate soooo many of the male blossoms.





Sorry, this is really off topic.  I just had to share how successful city gardening can be!

Your garden is so pretty! I have whatever the opposite of a green thumb is, but I have great appreciation for other people's gardens.

I actually love HOA's. To each their own, really.  Sometimes my feathers might get ruffled, but I like the idea of a community that enforces the agreement everyone makes to maintain their property to the agreed upon standards and not do stupid shit like paint their house some hideous color that makes their house stick out like a sore thumb. I personally would not live in a neighborhood without a strong HOA, but I totally get why some people don't like them.

[jerry mcmasters]

We moved out in the countryside partly to get away from HOAs. I mean I get the point and property value and all but damn they were annoying. Where I am now I do what I want with my yard, when I want. Very liberating.

[Aliza]

We moved out in the countryside partly to get away from HOAs.  I mean I get the point and property value and all but damn they were annoying.  Where I am now I do what I want with my yard, when I want.  Very liberating.

Woah! I wonder if there is any correlation between atheists and HOAs. Might the free spirit of someone who rejects organized religion also be the type of person to prefer living HOA-free?

[Assassin]

We moved out in the countryside partly to get away from HOAs.  I mean I get the point and property value and all but damn they were annoying.  Where I am now I do what I want with my yard, when I want.  Very liberating.

Woah! I wonder if there is any correlation between atheists and HOAs. Might the free spirit of someone who rejects organized religion also be the type of person to prefer living HOA-free?

HOA is basically satanism.

[jerry mcmasters]

We moved out in the countryside partly to get away from HOAs.  I mean I get the point and property value and all but damn they were annoying.  Where I am now I do what I want with my yard, when I want.  Very liberating.

Woah! I wonder if there is any correlation between atheists and HOAs. Might the free spirit of someone who rejects organized religion also be the type of person to prefer living HOA-free?

I just don't like edging the driveway on command

[Aroura]

We moved out in the countryside partly to get away from HOAs.  I mean I get the point and property value and all but damn they were annoying.  Where I am now I do what I want with my yard, when I want.  Very liberating.

I hope we can buy a house, someday.  Until then since we are renting, we always have to follow someone elses rules in any case.  I don't know, we constantly debate the pros and cons of ownership.  It's more likely now that hubby has a long term job in this town, less reasons to move in the future.



Here's the property we are (most likely) moving to. It's way outside of town, (see the deer?) sitting on a full acre, and the owner seems very open to us doing small development projects so far.  We decide on the 8th.  It's manufactured, but the location is amazing.  You can see how shaded it is, though.

[jerry mcmasters]

It's beautiful! That's the kind of place you can plop a chair under a tree and just chill.