Anti-Vax Leader Urges Followers to Drink Their Own Urine to Fight COVID

[Thingymebob]

Scary thing is, there are actually people out there who prey on other people. What the fuck.

Everyone should feel safe wherever they are and whatever they're doing.

I'm always telling my wife to stay visible and not to go anywhere lonely. It shouldn't be that way.

I shit myself all the time when my kids are out and about.

[Dom]

This is why I advise pepper or bear spray. In your neck of the woods, bear spray can't be unusual and you'll probably be able to buy it at a local store. Buy two cans of it, and use the first for target practice so you know how the stream flies. Keep the second handy to straight-stream some asshole in the face and take some pleasure in watching him do the St Vitus Dance.

It's likely easy to get, we have bears around here. And cougars.

She said "cougars"! 

I knew someone would enjoy that.   I could have said mountain lions.

[Thingymebob]

It's likely easy to get, we have bears around here. And cougars.

She said "cougars"! 

I knew someone would enjoy that.   I could have said mountain lions.

I'm not going to make the obvious joke about mounting cougars.

Oh shit.

[SYZ]

...I bought my mom and my sis cans of this because I want them to have something that works at 15 feet.

Carrying pepper spray (capsaicin) is illegal in Australia.  Schedule 1 of the Weapons
Prohibition Act 1998 lists all such items classified as prohibited weapons. This includes
"any device designed or intended as a defence or anti-personnel spray and that is
capable of discharging any irritant matter".  

Section 7(1) of the Weapons Prohibition Act 1998 states that "a person must not possess
or use a prohibited weapon unless the person is authorised to do so by a permit".  The
only state that a permit to carry pepper spray can be applied for is Western Australia.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Whatever I do, it would have to incapacitate him first try.

Not always true. Holding him off while screaming like a maniac sufficed in more than one instance. Your voice will get your aid faster than anything else, including your phone. That's there the sword cane would help.

[Thumpalumpacus]

...I bought my mom and my sis cans of this because I want them to have something that works at 15 feet.

Carrying pepper spray (capsaicin) is illegal in Australia.  Schedule 1 of the Weapons
Prohibition Act 1998 lists all such items classified as prohibited weapons. This includes
"any device designed or intended as a defence or anti-personnel spray and that is
capable of discharging any irritant matter".  

Section 7(1) of the Weapons Prohibition Act 1998 states that "a person must not possess
or use a prohibited weapon unless the person is authorised to do so by a permit".  The
only state that a permit to carry pepper spray can be applied for is Western Australia.

Fortunately that's not the case here.

Pepper spray is one of the most straightforward and most affordable forms of self-defense for people to possess. But before anyone goes out there and purchases one for themselves, it's essential to understand the laws surrounding its possession in each state.

Is It Legal To Carry?
In all 50 states and Washington D.C., it is legal to use pepper spray for self-defense purposes. However, some states only allow the use and carry of pepper spray under certain circumstances.

For instance, some states have certain circumstances where people can only carry pepper spray based on its/their:

Size
Concentration
Age (at least 18 years-old)
Restrictions (felons are not allowed to purchase pepper spray)
Currently, 13 states have specific conditions for their pepper spray law. Washington D.C. is also included within this list.

https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-...s-by-state

[Dānu]

Whatever I do, it would have to incapacitate him first try.

Not always true. Holding him off while screaming like a maniac sufficed in more than one instance. Your voice will get your aid faster than anything else, including your phone. That's there the sword cane would help.

They had these 100-decibel keychain alarms at Menards. I considered one, but my conclusion was that using it would simply make things worse.

[Thingymebob]

Whatever I do, it would have to incapacitate him first try.

Not always true. Holding him off while screaming like a maniac sufficed in more than one instance. Your voice will get your aid faster than anything else, including your phone. That's there the sword cane would help.

They had these 100-decibel keychain alarms at Menards.  I considered one, but my conclusion was that using it would simply make things worse.

There's nothing quite like a punch in the throat.
It's horrible that women walk around in fear, my wife often tells me about situations where she's been scared, blokes don't give those situations a second thought.

[Dancefortwo]

Not always true. Holding him off while screaming like a maniac sufficed in more than one instance. Your voice will get your aid faster than anything else, including your phone. That's there the sword cane would help.

They had these 100-decibel keychain alarms at Menards.  I considered one, but my conclusion was that using it would simply make things worse.

There's nothing quite like a punch in the throat.
It's horrible that women walk around in fear, my wife often tells me about situations where she's been scared, blokes don't give those situations a second thought.

Yup.  We are taught this from childhood especially in the States where guns are everywhere. I was taught by my parents to be fully aware of my surroundings and in turn I taught this to my daughters.   Women are generally smaller than men. We are more vulnerable to physical assult.  It shouldn't be this way but it is.  That's reality. There are places I would never go at night by my self where as my husband doesn't think twice about it.  

One time I was taking an evening ballet class in a sketcy part of Los Angeles and the male ballet teacher taught us some self defense moves as part of the class.  It was fantastic.   One thing we were taught is to walk upright, head held high and look like you're going somewhere very important and you're in a rush to get there but be aware of everything around you.  Don't look vulnerable.  Look strong and determined. It's gives a psychological edge to who you are and how you're percieved.   I think it was good advice.

[Dom]

They had these 100-decibel keychain alarms at Menards.  I considered one, but my conclusion was that using it would simply make things worse.

There's nothing quite like a punch in the throat.
It's horrible that women walk around in fear, my wife often tells me about situations where she's been scared, blokes don't give those situations a second thought.

Yup.  We are taught this from childhood especially in the States where guns are everywhere. I was taught by my parents to be fully aware of my surroundings and in turn I taught this to my daughters.   Women are generally smaller than men. We are more vulnerable to physical assult.  It shouldn't be this way but it is.  That's reality. There are places I would never go at night by my self where as my husband doesn't think twice about it.  

One time I was taking an evening ballet class in a sketcy part of Los Angeles and the male ballet teacher taught us some self defense moves as part of the class.  It was fantastic.   One thing we were taught is to walk upright, head held high and look like you're going somewhere very important and you're in a rush to get there but be aware of everything around you.  Don't look vulnerable.  Look strong and determined. It's gives a psychological edge to who you are and how you're percieved.   I think it was good advice.

When I grew up, we were never taught that. All we were taught is to look left and right before crossing the street. Those were gentler times I guess. And this in Munich, a bustling metropolitan city. I have since learned all of the above - in the states. Dunno how it is back in Munich now either.

[Dancefortwo]

There's nothing quite like a punch in the throat.
It's horrible that women walk around in fear, my wife often tells me about situations where she's been scared, blokes don't give those situations a second thought.

Yup.  We are taught this from childhood especially in the States where guns are everywhere. I was taught by my parents to be fully aware of my surroundings and in turn I taught this to my daughters.   Women are generally smaller than men. We are more vulnerable to physical assult.  It shouldn't be this way but it is.  That's reality. There are places I would never go at night by my self where as my husband doesn't think twice about it.  

One time I was taking an evening ballet class in a sketcy part of Los Angeles and the male ballet teacher taught us some self defense moves as part of the class.  It was fantastic.   One thing we were taught is to walk upright, head held high and look like you're going somewhere very important and you're in a rush to get there but be aware of everything around you.  Don't look vulnerable.  Look strong and determined. It's gives a psychological edge to who you are and how you're percieved.   I think it was good advice.

When I grew up, we were never taught that. All we were taught is to look left and right before crossing the street. Those were gentler times I guess. And this in Munich, a bustling metropolitan city. I have since learned all of the above - in the states. Dunno how it is back in Munich now either.

Well, you're not just staring ahead like a robot.  Part of being aware of your surroundings is looking around but also look like you're going someplace important to meet a very important person.   They've done studies on what makes a person more vulnerable to attack and those who sort of dawdle and look like they have no purpose will look weak and easy pickins to an attacker.   It's evolution at work, I guess.

[Thumpalumpacus]

They had these 100-decibel keychain alarms at Menards.  I considered one, but my conclusion was that using it would simply make things worse.

There's nothing quite like a punch in the throat.
It's horrible that women walk around in fear, my wife often tells me about situations where she's been scared, blokes don't give those situations a second thought.

Yup.  We are taught this from childhood especially in the States where guns are everywhere. I was taught by my parents to be fully aware of my surroundings and in turn I taught this to my daughters.   Women are generally smaller than men. We are more vulnerable to physical assult.  It shouldn't be this way but it is.  That's reality. There are places I would never go at night by my self where as my husband doesn't think twice about it.  

One time I was taking an evening ballet class in a sketcy part of Los Angeles and the male ballet teacher taught us some self defense moves as part of the class.  It was fantastic.   One thing we were taught is to walk upright, head held high and look like you're going somewhere very important and you're in a rush to get there but be aware of everything around you.  Don't look vulnerable.  Look strong and determined. It's gives a psychological edge to who you are and how you're percieved.   I think it was good advice.

For related but still distinct reasons, my dad always told me "walk like you own everything you see". The message is similar. Posture says a lot, and a long ways away, too.

ETA: keeping your head on a swivel will help the look as well as the tactical info.

[SYZ]

...When I grew up, we were never taught that. All we were taught is to look left and right before crossing the street. Those were gentler times I guess.

And... don't forget the "never take lollies from a stranger, or get into a car".

—My mother, circa 1949.

[TheGentlemanBastard]

Forget the balls. If you're going to hit someone, go for the Adams apple.

Punching the throat works wonders no matter what pink bits your assailant happens to be carrying.

[Minimalist]

[adey67]

I swear, you guys are so strange.

This has to be a question only a woman would ask... considering...

OMFG one of those is a meal for 20.

[Cavebear]

I've been to several of these threads, and I've rectum all.

That was GOOD!  On Futurama, the professor said they renamed Uranus to "Urectum".  Cracked me up TOTALLY!

In a Dilbert comic years ago, Dogbert, acting as a business consultant, was coming up with new names for rebranding the pointy-haired bosse's company. The names were combining names of planets with electrical terms. He suggested Uranus-Hertz. The pointy-haired boss exclaimed, "I LIKE IT!"

I seldom fail to recall a comic strip, but that one escapes me. Still, it is fully "according to character". I LOVE DILBERT. I can't decide which character I like best. What comic has so many? Dilbert is the main (and sometimes represents Murphy's Laws), but the surrounding characters are so essential. What would it be without Dogbert's cynicism, Alice's sarcasm, Wally's not-working strategies, and the Point-Headed Clueless Boss?

And I don't want to ignore the CEO, Ratbert, Catbert, the dinosaurs, and the occasional brief girlfriend. It is Peanuts for the adult generation...

[Cavebear]

There are no double blind, peer reviewed studies on humans.

Is that "peer" as in "a coequal of the same or similar status", or "peer" as in "one who just got done peeing"?

I'm telling you, these jokes just write themselves.

A hyphen says SO much as does timing.  When I was young, my pee-er was a thing to discover, but it took years to discover peers.  And even then, some turned out to be more pee-ers than peers.  Ah, it was always always a challenge to differentiate Number 1 and Number 2 among them...  I always wondered if there was a Number 3.

Forsooth, some jokes do write themselves, and upon their writing do reveal a truth.  Escaped in our brief routine conveyances of words, but not without matter to the day.  Perhaps you ponder at nap whether "Rotterdam" is a dismal and unpleasing word.  Yet I say "if my sister steals my candy, I hope it will 'rotterdamn' teeth out".  

But beyond, should it please you more or less, what is a joke?  It is that thing which pains others for your amusement and which, to pardon, is our point this very day.  Should amusement come at my expense (which I charge for nought, or yours, which I cannot demand).

But I surrender to you a pun, not sure of with or wither from this horse's ass...

"A short psychic broke out of jail. She was a small medium at large."

[Cavebear]

Some ... ladies ... get a ... kick ... of seeing how guys would react.

1. Wow, you're not dead yet.
2. That ain't hot.