How do you dress when you go out for dinner?

[Thumpalumpacus]

Dad used to always tell me that I should be able to fit in credibly in a wide variety of situations. There's a clothing element to that, to me. I don't care how others dress, but take care myself to respect the occasion.

[Dancefortwo]

Personally all that matters to me is behavior.  I don't care if I'm dressed up with my wife and we are in the corner, and the couple next to me is in flip flops and bathing trunks.  Just be nice to the servers.

I get embarrassed when people are rude to the people who are serving.... I always think, what if that was my son or daughter.

I have never ever been rude to servers even if it's awful service.  Even if they spill water or food on me.  I don't care.  There is no way I could be a restaurant server and do it any better than the worst, most awful server in the world.  And short of stabbing me with chefs knife  I tip them very, very generously.  I know you in the UK don't tip but we US people do.  If the waitress  looks tired and haggard I tip even more, or as much as I can afford.    If I ever won the lottery tipping food servers $200 - $400  a pop would be my thing.   

[Aliza]

Personally all that matters to me is behavior.  I don't care if I'm dressed up with my wife and we are in the corner, and the couple next to me is in flip flops and bathing trunks.  Just be nice to the servers.

I get embarrassed when people are rude to the people who are serving.... I always think, what if that was my son or daughter.

I have never ever been rude to servers even if it's awful service.  Even if they spill water or food on me.  I don't care.  There is no way I could be a restaurant server and do it any better than the worst, most awful server in the world.  And short of stabbing me with chefs knife  I tip them very, very generously.  I know you in the UK don't tip but we US people do.  If the waitress  looks tired and haggard I tip even more, or as much as I can afford.    If I ever won the lottery tipping food servers $200 - $400  a pop would be my thing.   

I tip 20%. If service wasn't good, I'll do 18% or sometimes even 15%. If service was really, really, really bad, I'll do 15% and shoot daggers with my eyes. I can think of one time in the last 10 years where service was awful, and it was at one of those pricey Brazilian steak houses. 

In fairness to the rest of the world, our tipping system in the US is idiotic and leaves an entire industry's salary at the good graces and whim of the consumers. We don't tip our doctors, and they're highly skilled professionals.... why do we tip people who bring food to our table?

[Dancefortwo]

I get embarrassed when people are rude to the people who are serving.... I always think, what if that was my son or daughter.

I have never ever been rude to servers even if it's awful service.  Even if they spill water or food on me.  I don't care.  There is no way I could be a restaurant server and do it any better than the worst, most awful server in the world.  And short of stabbing me with chefs knife  I tip them very, very generously.  I know you in the UK don't tip but we US people do.  If the waitress  looks tired and haggard I tip even more, or as much as I can afford.    If I ever won the lottery tipping food servers $200 - $400  a pop would be my thing.   

I tip 20%. If service wasn't good, I'll do 18% or sometimes even 15%. If service was really, really, really bad, I'll do 15% and shoot daggers with my eyes. I can think of one time in the last 10 years where service was awful, and it was at one of those pricey Brazilian steak houses. 

In fairness to the rest of the world, our tipping system in the US is idiotic and leaves an entire industry's salary at the good graces and whim of the consumers. We don't tip our doctors, and they're highly skilled professionals.... why do we tip people who bring food to our table?

why do we tip people who bring food to our table?

I donno, maybe because some of them aren't making a lot of money.  Whatever the reason is, I'm a big tipper.

[Aliza]

These are both excellent points, @Aroura and @c172.

If someone can not change who they are -like literally cannot change- then obviously discriminating against them is wrong. I'm sorry for whatever extent you have to deal with that, C. 

Great...What about the rest of us?  I'm just wondering if the rest of people who reveal their membership in the lesser classes by not dressing to requirements, while behaving acceptably in every other respect, get similar consideration?   

You seem to be criticizing people, generally, whom you just don't like in terms of personal dress style, not people who are being disruptive yahoos or storming the Capitol, etc.  They're sitting in a restaurant, having been admitted to that restaurant by the management, and behaving acceptably, but you feel their clothing choices are somehow disrespectful.  To what, exactly?  To your line of sight?  

Then there's criticism of people going to the theater or ballet, sitting quietly, enjoying and appreciating the performance, but their fricking clothing choices are enough to disqualify them, somehow, from deserving to sit in the same auditorium as the Quality?    

If they bought a ticket or paid for their meal and didn't bother you except with their aesthetics, really, what is the deal?

I do think people have a responsibility to behave a certain way in certain spaces. I think when people go to dinner (bearing in mind the context here is dinner), they should conduct themselves in accordance with social norms. It's respectful to meet everyone else on the agreed upon social standard of dress and behavior. One can turn on their TV to see what trends are current. 

The thing that inspired this particular thread was an overall downward trend in attire at fancy restaurants. I neglected to mention that the woman who really ticked me off was wearing a puffy jacket and a pair of boy shorts that I swear were just underwear. If these were not swimming suit bottoms, then they could only be underwear. They were certainly thin enough to have been underwear. There was also the knee high boots, overly long, brightly painted fingernails, false eyelashes, and weave on her head. I felt really awkward and uncomfortable, and I was surprised that the restaurant sat her in the dining room like that. I was offended that she felt this attire was perfectly acceptable for a restaurant that plays soft, romantic music and custom makes each dish to order. Clearly it's not a money issue because she could afford the items that she had. 

I took it to be either a "fuck you for not liking it," attitude, or a "you're a racist for gaping at me" attitude. Obviously I couldn't know what her intentions were, but her intentions were irrelevant; her actions were that she showed up looking like a hooker. Seeing her was the straw that broke the camel's back. If it had been an isolated thing, I'd have gawked and moved on... but in general, I've noticed people showing up in attire that makes me uncomfortable, and I suspect it makes other diners uncomfortable as well.

[Dancefortwo]

Adding to my post, I got to thinking, Shakespeare has a lot of scenes with tipping.  Clowns were tipped.  There's a couple of tipping scenes in Tweltfth Night.  Macbeth has a doorman who is tipped. There's a couple of messengers who argue about tipping in one of Shakespeare's plays.  People holding horses while the owners went inside a building were tipped.  I'm pretty sure the boatmen on the Thames were tipped.     So old England had a tipping past.   Maybe it came to the US via England and never left.

[SYZ]

I tip 20%. If service wasn't good, I'll do 18% or sometimes even 15%.

Holy macaroni Batman!  Seriously?  A $200 meal (for two) deserves a $40 tip?
Are you sure your maths is right?

If service was really, really, really bad, I'll do 15% and shoot daggers with my eyes.

Downunder, truly crappy service gets $0 tip.  No way I'd be tipping $30.

In fairness to the rest of the world, our tipping system in the US is idiotic...

Apparently.     

EDIT:  Wait staff in Australia get an award rate of up to $23.48 per hour (plus tips, if any)

[Dancefortwo]

I tip 20%. If service wasn't good, I'll do 18% or sometimes even 15%.

Holy macaroni Batman!  Seriously?  A $200 meal (for two) deserves a $40 tip?
Are you sure your maths is right?

If service was really, really, really bad, I'll do 15% and shoot daggers with my eyes.

Downunder, truly crappy service gets $0 tip.  No way I'd be tipping $30.

In fairness to the rest of the world, our tipping system in the US is idiotic...

Apparently.     

EDIT:  Wait staff in Australia get an award rate of up to $23.48 per hour (plus tips, if any)

Servers here earn an average of about $10.00 us dollars an hour.  They rely on tips.    That's why I tip big.  They can spill an entire bowl of hot food on me and I'll tip big.    I could no more do that job than fly to the moon.

[Aroura]

Not to mention, servers are often also forced to split the tips with the underpaid dishwashers, busspersons, etc.
I do 18 or 20% as well. In the last year, since everything is delivery, pretty much do 20% flat.

[KittyAnn]

Ohh, I really like to dress smart and fancy when I go out for dinner or some formal lunch .. or quite ordinary lunch/dinner ... I don't wear any special clothes every day, and as a woman I love to take advantage of these occasions and dress more refined. The more so because I think that when I go to dinner with someone I want to show my respect for him/her through the outfit, maybe some people will find it unfashionable or even stupid, but I also want to give the other side pleasure, in a sense ... that they will look at a well-groomed person, maybe a little sexy ... and it will also have some nice visual impressions, not just the taste of food hehe...i know, i know that sounds maybe a little silly but i don't care..I like to make myself the pleasure and the same time to give pleasure to other 

[TonyAnkle]

Ohh, I really like to dress smart and fancy when I go out for dinner or some formal lunch .. or quite ordinary lunch/dinner ... I don't wear any special clothes every day, and as a woman I love to take advantage of these occasions and dress more refined. The more so because I think that when I go to dinner with someone I want to show my respect for him/her through the outfit, maybe some people will find it unfashionable or even stupid, but I also want to give the other side pleasure, in a sense ... that they will look at a well-groomed person, maybe a little sexy ... and it will also have some nice visual impressions, not just the taste of food hehe...i know, i know that sounds maybe a little silly but i don't care..I like to make myself the pleasure and the same time to give pleasure to other 

My wife is quite funny. She'll get dressed up really nice, she usually wears a pretty dress and heels, but she always takes a bag with "comfortable" shoes for the walk home.

[OakTree500]

Depends where I'm going really.

Having a kid, we go to a lot of "family friendly" places, so just normally attire there. Occasionally if we go somewhere actually fancy, normally sans kid, we will dress up a bit - I'll put on a nice shirt, dark jeans and some nice shoes or something

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I tend to trousers for dinner more often than I dress for dinner.

[KittyAnn]

Ohh, I really like to dress smart and fancy when I go out for dinner or some formal lunch .. or quite ordinary lunch/dinner ... I don't wear any special clothes every day, and as a woman I love to take advantage of these occasions and dress more refined. The more so because I think that when I go to dinner with someone I want to show my respect for him/her through the outfit, maybe some people will find it unfashionable or even stupid, but I also want to give the other side pleasure, in a sense ... that they will look at a well-groomed person, maybe a little sexy ... and it will also have some nice visual impressions, not just the taste of food hehe...i know, i know that sounds maybe a little silly but i don't care..I like to make myself the pleasure and the same time to give pleasure to other 

My wife is quite funny. She'll get dressed up really nice, she usually wears a pretty dress and heels, but she always takes a bag with "comfortable" shoes for the walk home.

She is not funny at all, I could even say she is a very smart woman ... the heels are not as comfortable ..they only look nice or rather our legs (woman legs|) looks amazing in them    point for your wife

[c172]

I will say that I'm a guy, and I tend to cringe at seeing a young woman in high heels. I always feel like she's about to fall. I prefer to see her in polished black or white mary janes or ballet flats (no preference).

[Dancefortwo]

I will say that I'm a guy, and I tend to cringe at seeing a young woman in high heels. I always feel like she's about to fall. I prefer to see her in polished black or white mary janes or ballet flats (no preference).

You won't  take my high heeled shoes out of my cold, dead hands.       One needs to learn how to walk in them and most people don't get the physics of walking in heels.  Heeled shoes thrust the pelvic backwards and put pressure on the lower back so one needs to counteract that by tucking the pelvis under and keep the ribs from popping out or bending forewards and a lot of women don't straighten their legs when they walk.  After being en pointe for several years in ballet and using those muscles, high heels are nothing.  

But I swear, I've seen so many women walk just like Mrs. a-Wiggens.  It's hysterical. They really should be in flats, like you said.  

[Dom]

Apart from the fact that heels made my already bad knees hurt, I felt like I was strutting around like a rooster. Haven't worn any in many decades and good riddance as far as I am concerned. I want to feel comfortable when I go out.

[SYZ]

I will say that I'm a guy, and I tend to cringe at seeing a young woman in high heels. I always feel like she's about to fall.
I prefer to see her in polished black or white mary janes or ballet flats (no preference).

Ahhh... yes.  With the ruffled ankle socks.

[Dancefortwo]

I will say that I'm a guy, and I tend to cringe at seeing a young woman in high heels. I always feel like she's about to fall.
I prefer to see her in polished black or white mary janes or ballet flats (no preference).

Ahhh... yes.  With the ruffled ankle socks.

Someone I knew who was a Catholic and went to Catholic school as a girl said the nuns made them wear mary janes that had a matt finish like the one in your photo.  The shiny ones were too revealing because you could see in the reflection of the shoe right up a girls skirt. Oh, the horror.      

[c172]

Awww, those ruffle socks. :p

One of my high schools was a catholic high school, and I seem to remember a sophomore girl (I was a junior) wearing mary janes and cable knit tights (or what I'm thinking are now called sweater tights). Ruffle socks were left in elementary school (except in some weird fetish circles I'm unfamiliar with).

[Thumpalumpacus]

Ohh, I really like to dress smart and fancy when I go out for dinner or some formal lunch .. or quite ordinary lunch/dinner ... I don't wear any special clothes every day, and as a woman I love to take advantage of these occasions and dress more refined. The more so because I think that when I go to dinner with someone I want to show my respect for him/her through the outfit, maybe some people will find it unfashionable or even stupid, but I also want to give the other side pleasure, in a sense ... that they will look at a well-groomed person, maybe a little sexy ... and it will also have some nice visual impressions, not just the taste of food hehe...i know, i know that sounds maybe a little silly but i don't care..I like to make myself the pleasure and the same time to give pleasure to other 

This is a thing, too. When I go out with a gal to a nice place, part of our dressing up is not for the place, but for each other.

When we were kids, half the fun of Christmas was simply unwrapping the presents, right? As adults, when our mates dress up for us, at a certain point it becomes tantalizing too, I think.

I always liked it when my woman undid my tie. There's a reason I like taking a gal to a nice place, and it ain't always for the food.

[Dom]

Ohh, I really like to dress smart and fancy when I go out for dinner or some formal lunch .. or quite ordinary lunch/dinner ... I don't wear any special clothes every day, and as a woman I love to take advantage of these occasions and dress more refined. The more so because I think that when I go to dinner with someone I want to show my respect for him/her through the outfit, maybe some people will find it unfashionable or even stupid, but I also want to give the other side pleasure, in a sense ... that they will look at a well-groomed person, maybe a little sexy ... and it will also have some nice visual impressions, not just the taste of food hehe...i know, i know that sounds maybe a little silly but i don't care..I like to make myself the pleasure and the same time to give pleasure to other 

This is a thing, too. When I go out with a gal to a nice place, part of our dressing up is not for the place, but for each other.

When we were kids, half the fun of Christmas was simply unwrapping the presents, right? As adults, when our mates dress up for us, at a certain point it becomes tantalizing too, I think.

I always liked it when my woman undid my tie. There's a reason I like taking a gal to a nice place, and it ain't always for the food.

Well, yeah, undressing each other is a whole other thing, too.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Well, yeah, undressing each other is a whole other thing, too.

Makes dressing up worth it, for me.

[Aliza]

As I'm thinking of the subject here, I think what really bothers me are people who dress to be distracting in a negative way.... or people who are too ignorant to realize that their clothing makes others uncomfortable.

[Dancefortwo]

As I'm thinking of the subject here, I think what really bothers me are people who dress to be distracting in a negative way.... or people who are too ignorant to realize that their clothing makes others uncomfortable.

I agree. This is not something I would wear to an evening meal at a nice restaurant.

  

One doesn't have to dress in an Oscar de la Renta evening gown, just be neat and clean and sort of put together. It doesn't take a lot of money to do this either.   One time I found a beautifully tailored woman's high end wool suit at the Goodwill when I was putting together some costumes for a play.  It was $8 dollars.  I snapped it up.   But I guess a lot of people don't have the aesthetics that I have.  I love beautiful fabrics and classic clothing.   Fashion is a big part of my life but I try not to be too snobby about it.  I know it's not important to other people.