Historically I'm something of a loner and a recluse. Part of that is the result of 40 years of depression, and the attendant habit of isolating, but some of it is just me being shy and self-conscious, as well as preferring my own company, generally. I have no personal friends, and have always had trouble making friends, so I spend a lot of time by myself. That being said, I have many people who could be considered friends, people who know me, from my time attending humanist and atheist discussion groups. My depression lifted a year ago, and while it's not my natural inclination, I am leaning towards becoming more social. I am more involved in family celebrations, as in the absence of depression, I'm able to prepare for them in advance and thus am more comfortable when they happen. I'm going to be attending Toastmasters twice a month to improve my confidence in social situations. And because of my prior habits, my apartment is basically "built for one," and I'm going to be fixing that, starting with investing in a futon sofa next month. I would like to form more personal relationships, including intimate ones, but I'm still struggling to find practical ways of addressing that, as online dating services, even local ones, are just money scams. I've got a long way to go. I'm still very self-conscious, but I think the times they are a' changin'.
Mountain-high though the difficulties appear, terrible and gloomy though all things seem, they are but Mâyâ.
Fear not — it is banished. Crush it, and it vanishes. Stamp upon it, and it dies.
Vivekananda
Fear not — it is banished. Crush it, and it vanishes. Stamp upon it, and it dies.
Vivekananda
